Virtuous Man. Valiant Woman.

"At any age, for any gender, He exemplifies who we are meant to become."

“Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.” (Proverbs 31:10)

PROVERBS 31 describes a virtuous woman. The word “virtuous” is an interesting one because in other places it is translated “valiant.” David is described as a “valiant” man. The Hebrew word describes someone who is “a force, whether of means, men, or resources.” It can also mean “an army, wealth, virtue, valor, strength.” It is NOT just describing purity.

A woman who is virtuous is also valiant. A man who is valiant is also virtuous. The word does not change meaning between genders. When the Scriptures speaks of David it describes him as: “a mighty valiant man, and a man of war, and prudent in matters (1 Samuel 16:18).” The virtuous woman is said to be trustable, full of work ethic, strong, unafraid, honorable, wise, kind, and much praised. Though the words used are different, the thought behind the use of the word is the same. What she is – courageous and dedicated, David was – honorable and wise.

That word “prudent” applied to him means “discerning” and “of understanding.” All wisdom comes from the Spirit of God who is within us. Though He was not living in the heart of men and women before redemption, we see His wisdom in their words and actions. King Solomon was the wisest king to ever live, yet he was not saved. My point is, we must remove the differing standards between men and women. God is not one way to men and another way to women. He must be virtuous. She must be valiant.

Gender inequality has always been an issue, even in Jesus’ day. A commentary pointed out that Luke, a medical doctor, wrote more about Jesus’ ministry to women than Matthew, Mark, or John. Though it is John who wrote of the woman taken in adultery who was cast at Jesus’ feet. Our modern thinking asks, Where was the man? This is not stated in the story but notice Jesus’ defense and forgiveness of her.

“When Jesus had lifted up himself, and saw none but the woman, he said unto her, Woman, where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned thee? She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more.” (John 8:10-11)

The apostle Paul speaks of Christ’s relationship to the church as a husband and his wife. He describes the husband’s tender care for her, how his every action is for her benefit, to make her “without spot or wrinkle.” He desires her to be her best. Not as some trophy, not to further his arrogance, but because the husband is to love his wife as much as he loves himself. He is to love her to the extent Christ loves the church, who died so that she (the church) could be washed clean.

Modern society pushes against the idea of marriage, but it was created in the beginning by God. As Eve was taken from Adam, from the place of his breath, Adam would join with Eve to become one again in a tenderness of unity. And from Eve would come more of Adam, more of themselves (1 Corinthians 11:12). But though, it was said by God, after sin happened, that woman’s desire would forever be to her husband, “and he shall rule over thee (Genesis 3:16),” the submission and obedience of man is to God. There is not a different standard.

Again, the words of Paul speak to us. He describes the culture of that day, how a woman must cover her head and a man must not, in this speaking to the man’s leadership over his wife and his submission to God. She is described as submissive to him (which is not a bad word) and deferring to him. But we must see, the need for a woman to keep silent in church is no greater than a man’s need to be obedient. He must only speak when spoken to and asked for a response. She no longer has to continually wear a head covering either. That has been misconstrued. But in these words, we see how both must walk in submission and in obedience.

“But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.” (1 Corinthians 11:3)

This is spoken of in the description of elders in the church. In several places, they are described as “the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach (1 Timothy 3:2),” not a drunkard or argumentative, and a man who rules well his children. If he has unruly, disobedient children, it was specifically said he had no place teaching in the church. They were to be gentle, patient, meek, faithful, dedicated to the truth of the Word of God. Women were asked to be of holy behavior, not liars, not drunkards, but teachers of good things, discreet, chaste, good, obedient to their husbands. The list goes on.

Boiling it all down, all men and all women as individuals and from within marriage relationships, are to seek God daily, to know His Word in their heart and to allow it to change their thinking so that they become the best people they possibly can, someone who follows His voice and won’t settle for any of the behaviors of darkness. This really is the bottom line. If we will walk after Christ as the Word of God gives us to do, and if we will become the children of God that He desires us to be, then our relationships will prosper, and as a man or as a woman, we will mature properly. There won’t be anything false about us.

Jesus is our example both for the husband and for the wife, for the single man and for the single woman, for the aged and the young. At any age, for any gender, He exemplifies who we are meant to become, and only by studying about Him, but committing His Word to our hearts, and learning to walk fully in the Spirit, attentive to His presence, will we become the virtuous man, the valiant woman we are meant to be, who God wants us to be. David faced a giant with the Word of God and defeated him. Queen Esther stood before her husband, a foreign king, and spoke the wisdom of God which saved her people. Deborah, the Old Testament judge, drove a nail into the temple of the enemy and won a great victory. Jesus of Nazareth lived a sinless life that propelled Him onto the cross for our sins and lifted Him from the grave for our salvation.

Who will we be in this hour, in this age, in this day? Will we use the times as an excuse for our sinful behavior, for decadence, and apostasy, or will be use them as a point propelling us higher, toward God’s goodness, unwilling to compromise the values He’s set down for us? I will do the latter and stand before Him without guilt or condemnation, knowing I did my best. I am the good and faithful servant who did with her little what received the admiration of the Master. I will seek the peace and fruitfulness of my household. I desire them to have all they need to live a joyful successful life in the power and presence of God. I will not use my gender as an excuse for lassitude nor should a man twist the words of Scripture to fit his ego. She is only an adornment for you when you are as beautiful as she is, and you are only worthy of her when you are as gentle and kind as Jesus.

She is the flower. You are the soil. You are the castle. She is the mullioned window. You are the soft breeze of spring. She is the dandelion whose seeds are sent aloft on it. You are the lake waters rippling against the shore that stretches to depths only she can give you. Alone, you are a puddle. Together, you are the ocean. This is as God has designed it.

Nothing more needs to be said than the Words of Scripture in Ephesians 5 in the Message Bible.

“Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ’s love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They’re really doing themselves a favor—since they’re already ‘one’ in marriage. No one abuses his own body, does he? No, he feeds and pampers it. That’s how Christ treats us, the church, since we are part of his body. And this is why a man leaves father and mother and cherishes his wife. No longer two, they become ‘one flesh.’ This is a huge mystery, and I don’t pretend to understand it all. What is clearest to me is the way Christ treats the church. And this provides a good picture of how each husband is to treat his wife, loving himself in loving her, and how each wife is to honor her husband.” (Ephesians 5:25-33 MSG)

Image by Cao Hoang from Pixabay


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Suzanne D. Williams, Author
www.suzannedwilliams.com
www.feelgoodromance.com