A Spiritual Moment

"Healing for a marriage union is only found through the Spirit of God."

SOLOMON TRIED TO DO in the flesh what God promised to do for Him through His Spirit. When God asked him in a dream what he would most want from God and Solomon answered, “Give me wisdom,” Solomon had already made a bad, unwise choice. We know the end of the story. He had too many wives and concubines and they turned his heart away from God. But it began in 1 Kings 3:1, when he brought the daughter of Pharoah into the land of Israel as his wife. There was then, an edge to God’s question that Solomon either overlooked or didn’t see. We know he ignored any wisdom about taking in foreign wives because just a few chapters later, he built Pharoah’s daughter a house.

Israel had been delivered from Egypt. Yet Egypt now lived in Israel, next to the king. In this vein, Proverbs is a far cry from Ecclesiastes. A book of wisdom becomes a book of his frustrations with life, all because Solomon allowed his mind and the will of his flesh to take over.

The Amplified Classic translation in a passage about marriage in the book of Malachi includes a phrase which gives us clearer vision. Malachi 2:16 says, “For the Lord, the God of Israel, says: I hate divorce and marital separation and him who covers his garment [his wife] with violence. Therefore keep a watch upon your spirit [that it may be controlled by My Spirit], that you deal not treacherously and faithlessly [with your marriage mate].” Now, there is a sense here that God is also talking about idolatry in Judah and Israel. But notice the reason for a man (or woman) dealing treacherously and faithlessly with their spouse is because they did not “keep a watch upon their spirit” and give the Holy Spirit control.

This seems foreign thinking to us. Marriage is, after all, a physical union. But in God’s Word, we are told to love one another, to pray for all men, and to bless our enemies. How much more then, our spouse and family? We are to always walk in the Spirit, being led of the Spirit as New Covenant Christians. Every choice we make should be from the Spirit. I’m not saying we need to worry about minutia, whether God wants us to chew gum or not, but where relationships are concerned, He knows the heart of every man and woman. He is our Guide.

He is the source of the fruit that grow in our spirit man. We have love, joy, patience, peace, gentleness, and self-control because these things are from Him. I shouldn’t have to point out that a person filled with God’s fruit will not have marital troubles.

There is no condemnation in Christ Jesus BECAUSE we walk in the Spirit and not in the flesh (Romans 8:1). Our flesh gets us into trouble that a decision made from the Word of God and from the Spirit will not. Far, far too much marital advice is given by men through their flesh and from their mind, both in and out of the church. They use Old Testament verses, such as these in Malachi, and Jesus’ words in the gospel of Matthew to drag men and women through the mud over marriage and divorce.

God will never, ever do this. Jesus’ words to the Pharisees here in Matthew were not meant to condemn anyone. He came to provide forgiveness from the Father’s love for us. But He made the same point as what we read in Malachi. Matthew 19:6 says, “What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.” Man, working through his fleshly ideas, thinking with the desires of his body, and in the deception of his mind, destroys marriage. It is the devil’s work, bottom line. That stupid fathead has been trying to tear marriage apart since God designed its beauty in Adam and Eve.

That God designed it is the key, and that He designed it to be lived not on our own but through His Spirit is what makes marriage succeed. Jesus said Moses allowed “a writing of divorcement” solely because of “the hardness of [their] hearts.” A hard heart that does not hear God’s voice, does not seek God daily and walk after the things of God will not find the peace He desires for us to have. Marriage should be a place of peace and joy. Both emotions which, as noted above, come from the Holy Spirit. Solomon had no peace in the end. What began with one wrong wife became many wrong wives. God promised him wisdom and prosperity and favor. Solomon had only to trust God for these and not rely on political unions, which were forbidden in the Old Covenant law.

We are promised UNION such as only God can create, UNION without flaw, without fear, without failure. We have not grasped the scale of this. We picture God’s goodness in our finances, in our health, in our education, in our children, but rely on fleshly behaviors when it comes to husband and wife. When God made man to cleave to his wife that was a spiritual moment. Yes, it involved their flesh, but greater than that, it was a UNION of the spirit man. The Word of God is clear to us. The unity of a husband and wife is internal and a picture of Christ’s love for us (1Corithians 6:18).

“And to the husbands, you are to demonstrate love for your wives with the same tender devotion that Christ demonstrated to us, his bride. For he died for us, sacrificing himself to make us holy and pure, cleansing us through the showering of the pure water of the Word of God.” (Ephesians 5:25-26 TPT)

Healing for a marriage union is only found through the Spirit of God. He made husband and wife and blessed them, and He desires to heal and restore the fullness of the marriage covenant. In Him is restoration of the heart and cleansing of the mind. He corrects wrong thought patterns, gives wisdom and discernment for physical trauma, and strengthening where we are weak. He is a gentle counselor who only works through discretion. Where man is a battle axe, thoughtless at times to those who have suffered marital trauma, the Holy Spirit will only take us on the best, kindest path to healing.

It hurts to see a happy couple when your own marriage is troubled. We who stand outside of the hurt must encourage and embrace those who are not in our shoes. If I have been blessed with many years of marital joy, or even if my marriage has overcome damage of the past, I must remember my words and actions reflect on the God within me and should never cause others any pain or regret. The same words of Scripture which apply to the one seeking the healing of their marriage also apply to my behavior around them. We must walk in the Spirit and then we will not indulge the flesh, whether that is a poorly made joke between husbands and wives, or well-meant but harmful marital advice.

Only God saves.

Image by MAFIZUR ISLAM from Pixabay


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Suzanne D. Williams, Author
www.suzannedwilliams.com
www.feelgoodromance.com