A Lot Of Hot Air

"God in one ear. Satan in the other."

WALK IT OFF, Suzanne. The pressure in my head threatened to explode and I’ve learned there are two ways to vent – either play something VERY LOUD or walk the front acre until I can’t walk anymore. In moments like this I can’t do peaceful and calm. The very idea of being even keel sends me into orbit. I know I’m not alone. Maybe your method of venting isn’t like mine, but we all have these moments where holiness threatens to fly out the window. I always wonder what God is thinking at times like that. Disappointment? And in thinking that, I do what you do, push it aside. Just can’t go there, God, until this pressure lifts.

Did you know He gets that? Imagine being accused of something you did not do, and although you knew this moment would happen, that the people you’d come to save were the ones who would kill you, the love in you fights with the devil in your ear. God in one ear. Satan in the other. God’s was more powerful, but Satan’s was louder. And temporary.

“But he turned, and said unto Peter, Get thee behind me, Satan: thou art an offence unto me: for thou savourest not the things that be of God, but those that be of men.” (Matthew 16:23)

It helps to know you will come down from the wave you’re on. It helps to know Jesus felt this and didn’t give into it. It helps to know He was calm. He knew what He was getting into before the world began. We can ask what it was like for Him, facing crucifixion. The Word doesn’t tell us the answers. But I suspect what He knew vied with what His body and mind suffered. I suspect He wanted to vent.

It makes me ashamed that I give in. It makes me relieved because He loves me anyway. It makes me grateful because He forgives me and His blood still lives on the altar of heaven, and His body was resurrected and glorified. But His Spirit, the Holy Spirit, stayed and came to live in me. The part of Him that makes my daily grind sensible, that gives me the calm that I should have when I need to explode, never went anywhere.

One day, Jesus will return. We’ll see Him as He is. He looks forward to this, so much so the Father won’t tell Him when. One day, we’ll look in His beautiful face with tears in our eyes. Tears in His. But for today, when my blood pressure is way too high and my nerves sit on edge, even when I vent in ways I shouldn’t, when I say what shouldn’t be said, He loves me anyway.

“And Jesus went into the temple of God, and cast out all them that sold and bought in the temple, and overthrew the tables of the moneychangers, and the seats of them that sold doves, And said unto them, It is written, My house shall be called the house of prayer; but ye have made it a den of thieves. And the blind and the lame came to him in the temple; and he healed them.” (Matthew 21:12-14)

“Then said the Jews unto him, Thou art not yet fifty years old, and hast thou seen Abraham? Jesus said unto them, Verily, verily, I say unto you, Before Abraham was, I am. Then took they up stones to cast at him: but Jesus hid himself, and went out of the temple, going through the midst of them, and so passed by.” (John 8:57-59)

“And it was the preparation of the passover, and about the sixth hour: and he saith unto the Jews, Behold your King! But they cried out, Away with him, away with him, crucify him. Pilate saith unto them, Shall I crucify your King? The chief priests answered, We have no king but Caesar.” (John 19:14-15)


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Suzanne D. Williams, Author
www.suzannedwilliams.com
www.feelgoodromance.com