That's Not Me

I hear the doubt. Maybe it’s come back. Maybe I’m not as strong as I thought. Maybe this battle will never end. And the fear starts up, that ache in my chest fueled by hopelessness. A gloomy future. A sense of futility. I’ve come so far, only to be set back. Again.

Then it hits me – That’s not me. That’s the enemy talking. I know who I am in Christ. I know who God is to me. I know what Jesus’ death provided. Shut up, enemy. I’m not going there. I’m not swallowing those lies. This happens for only a few seconds nowadays, and that because I’ve practiced recognizing it. In the past, I’d wallow. Fritter away the day in despair and misery. Now, it’s, Psht. Shrug it off, Suzanne. Go do something you enjoy.

Half the victory is being instant. We waste so much energy considering the enemy’s words. We roll them over, as if they have value, and so lose our focus. There in our hands is the Word of Truth and on the throne, the Savior who died for our complete salvation. Jesus is the Healer, but we’re too busy counting our aches and pains and, instead of faith, we fall to begging.

That’s something I’ve refused to do. I will not ask “Why, God, why?” or “When, God, when?” He’s done His part. Faith is mine.

Being honest, I have misunderstood faith for years. It had become a way of getting God to do something. If I say the right words and quote the right Scriptures, then God will heal me. At least, I think so. But then, just when I’ve got that idea squared away, some minister says, “He’s healed you already,” and there’s the enemy in my ear again, trying to suck me back into that lie of depression and frustration, anger and worthlessness. If God hasn’t, then why … Nope. Not asking.

Instead, faith is like plugging in the refrigerator. If your house is wired for electricity, and the electricity is connected to the pole outside, but you never plug in the refrigerator then everything you put in it will rot. Whose fault is that? I can stand there, the ice cream melting, and yell at God to plug it in and absolutely nothing will happen. That plug will not levitate into the outlet. I have to take action. In this same way, Jesus’ death and Resurrection provided access to the power. The Holy Spirit is there, inside us, flowing, just waiting for us to hook up and receive what He’s willing and able, desiring to do, but until He becomes our obsession, until we “plug in,” the food rots.

The key is spending time with God. When your body is aching and you’re worn out mentally, when all the symptoms, the junk you’re dealing with, is screaming at you, turn to the Source and worship. Without saying one word about healing. Or money. Or family. Or whatever is bothering you. Just soak Him in. Just say you love Him and let Him love you back.

Then pray for wisdom. Ask Him for the words to speak over your situation, and when you hear them, don’t say anything else. Put the Word in you. Read it. Hear it. And become instant at recognizing the enemy’s lies. The second he speaks, say, No. I don’t believe it. I won’t settle for this. I won’t live this way! Have your confessions in the work of God come from a heart of confidence, from a place of intense love, of fervency of spirit, and not the enemy’s doubts.

Know who you are. Know who God is. Know the enemy’s voice.

I hate watermelon. I know this one hundred percent. Offer me watermelon and in an instant, I will refuse it. The enemy’s trash talk should be the same. The only thing eternal is God. Sickness and disease are not eternal. Pain is temporary. Don’t settle for that. Don’t accept your condition as the finish line. Reach out for God’s abundant life, life that exceeds your expectation. Make that your goal. And tell the enemy what he can do with his doubt suggestions. In an instant, before they take hold. No thanks, devil. That’s not me talking.

Suzanne D. Williams, Author